It’s hurting more then it’s suppose to.... why do I feel this way ... I shouldn’t but I do....
Having feelings for someone that I like so much but doesn’t want me is the worst. I said it didn’t but it does. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought I was, just have to continue to take it in and accept the fact he and I will never become something I imagined. We will be nothing, just a person I knew from the other side of the country I had a “crush” hopefully one day I can meet someone that will make me forget this feeling and never leave or doubt anything..... oh how it aches and nobody will know or understand.... good thing I will never come back once I leave because I won’t want ever to see you again... it will just remind me of the memories I thought we would have or could have had.... just have to let go... forget about you as much as I can....

That’s why my heart is the way it is!

3rd time a dude has asked me out on a date and never texted or showed...story of my life lol

Dude! People suck!

Is it gone?

I guess I have to let it be, no matter how much I want to keep holding on, not let go, keep all hopes...

Lowkey...

I worship God in class sometimes...

So Today...

I had opening and closing practice (FFA thing) at 4:30 so I had an hour to kill, so I decided to do my homework. Well, another opening team asked if I could judge them and give advice, of course I could not say no. After I gave them my input and advice, a girl from the team came up to me and asked about my Mac book and the stickers I had on it. Totally sweet girl,  I told her how each sticker had a little story and stuff, which later she asked me where I get my clothes and cute outfits. Yes, you may be thinking "Paloma why do we care?" Truth is I don't know why you would care, yet you are continuing to read this *Shrugs shoulders*. In this conversation, in this moment, it made me feel like a role model or something! Like someone actually noticed me, the little things I like and made me realize those little things I didn't even notice about myself. It was the feeling that I had importance to someone I don't even know, yea I felt cool, so what! We should all have those little moments sometime in our life time, it is nice. 

So little dude that I always see during break, I like your cal poly sweater and you remind me of a friend named Ethan Millhorn...I know thats weird but I think its the freckles and rosy cheeks! Hey girl that I always smile at walking down the hall going to 2nd while I'm speed walking, you are so gorgeous and I LOVE your outfits during spirit days, SUPER cute and you rock! Oh and Dude with the louder speaker with the terrible rap music I have never even heard of you, you go dude! You do you, and enjoy your music, warning though speakers are not aloud on campus BUT you must be really slick, still proud of you! To the dude I text 24/7, yea you know who you are doof! Thanks for making my days better at school even if its a good morning, always can find a way to put a smile on this Dory looking face! To the love of my heart and soul, thank you for keeping our streak and making me laugh at your funny snaps with the faces you always make! ok Bye.

Throwback

I remember when I was younger I always wanted to sing this too someone and have that "distance romance" and learn how to play it on the ukulele. Super cute song! Sadly I would scare someone with my singing....