Sorry for letting my heart spit its feelings or thoughts out

ugh this sucks a lot... the feeling of disappointment in myself. Its like an ache in my chest trying hold it self up... I don't understand why this year.. my junior year ! The year that really counts and is practically going to make my life happen.... shit I'm screwing up... Last year everything was finished on time I was doing the work that didn't need to be finish till the next day...What made me so lost? why did I suddenly fall when I warned myself your going to trip look out... but of course like every stupid person says "what" and falls straight into the warning...