Lowkey...

I worship God in class sometimes...

So Today...

I had opening and closing practice (FFA thing) at 4:30 so I had an hour to kill, so I decided to do my homework. Well, another opening team asked if I could judge them and give advice, of course I could not say no. After I gave them my input and advice, a girl from the team came up to me and asked about my Mac book and the stickers I had on it. Totally sweet girl,  I told her how each sticker had a little story and stuff, which later she asked me where I get my clothes and cute outfits. Yes, you may be thinking "Paloma why do we care?" Truth is I don't know why you would care, yet you are continuing to read this *Shrugs shoulders*. In this conversation, in this moment, it made me feel like a role model or something! Like someone actually noticed me, the little things I like and made me realize those little things I didn't even notice about myself. It was the feeling that I had importance to someone I don't even know, yea I felt cool, so what! We should all have those little moments sometime in our life time, it is nice. 

So little dude that I always see during break, I like your cal poly sweater and you remind me of a friend named Ethan Millhorn...I know thats weird but I think its the freckles and rosy cheeks! Hey girl that I always smile at walking down the hall going to 2nd while I'm speed walking, you are so gorgeous and I LOVE your outfits during spirit days, SUPER cute and you rock! Oh and Dude with the louder speaker with the terrible rap music I have never even heard of you, you go dude! You do you, and enjoy your music, warning though speakers are not aloud on campus BUT you must be really slick, still proud of you! To the dude I text 24/7, yea you know who you are doof! Thanks for making my days better at school even if its a good morning, always can find a way to put a smile on this Dory looking face! To the love of my heart and soul, thank you for keeping our streak and making me laugh at your funny snaps with the faces you always make! ok Bye.

Throwback

I remember when I was younger I always wanted to sing this too someone and have that "distance romance" and learn how to play it on the ukulele. Super cute song! Sadly I would scare someone with my singing....

Ugh YAS!

my cousin C'Enna literally made my life 😩😩❤️

Why does God put these special souls in our path?

Ephemeral but eternity...thinking about it deceased.... my fingers begin to shake, my eyes begin to bleed, my soul begins to weep. Te amo, te oigo decir. Esperando que algún día podamos estar juntos. Sé que es demasiado pronto para decirlo, pero parece que siempre te he conocido ... te quiero ... se siente como una necesidad ... quiero que nosotros trabajemos ... pero por ahora supongo que esto es una dolorosa despedida and a long hug.

I remember this one time I was looking at hashtags about god and then I started finding accounts atheists created. I will never forget how it made me feel, my stomach was turning and my eyes tearing. These accounts were just bashing on god and just saying awful things that truly hurt my heart.

What is wrong with me?

I question myself and what was created. My heart aches, my tears roll, he laughs. All I feel is pounding of the pain, confusion, and The Who I really am... Of course "I'll grow out of it" I'm just that "young teenage girl that will understand one day" yet the real question becomes do you truly understand the understand one day?  Or do you even understand what this post is trying to make you understand about the girl or the adult understanding the true meaning of the specific understanding that's never understood?

A Special New Someone...

"I'm a joke from Ohio and I'm just really tan" says the beautiful soul I have just began communicating with....

A seed has been planted into the ground, waiting for the moisture and sun to help it grow. 

The water from the ground begins the process of making the flower emerge from the seed, creating strong and confident roots, but their is no auspious sun. 

As the flower waits for the sun, it faces insane points in its life where it is questioned, if it's even possible for it to grow out of the ground.

 It has been traped underneath the vigorous moss and ivy trying to hide what the flower should really be.

 But one day the sun comes out with it's dazzling and brilliant bright light of warmth and love.

 The flower then begins to grow out of all the crud it has been accustomed to and it grows and grows..

As if the flower and sun are meant to be.